Tuesday, 24 September 2019

My son in law has a brain tumour.

When Mike was 15 he had a brain tumour removed and was fine until he was 33 when he got another one.It is benign and not growing at the moment.It is in a place they can't reach.He is scanned every three years and at his last scan another tumour was detected.They think it is benign but have decided to remove it.He will be in hospital for five days,off work for two months but worst of all he can't drive for six months.The trouble is he is self employed and needs to drive for his job.He is a chemical engineer and visits sites all over the country.We live 45 minutes away and they have two girls who are involved in lots of activities in the evening.They are 14 and 11.Sarah ,our daughter, works three days a week.She is a Type 1 diabetic and gets very tired.What do we do? My OH can help out with local driving and we can help out financially.We are toying with the idea of renting a flat for six months so we can be on hand.We are both in our seventies and get tired too.

14 comments:

  1. Life is so difficult sometimes isn't it. Just when we think the kids are grown and we have time to ourselves it is not so. All you can do is your best. Love to you both
    Briony
    x

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  2. Sorry to hear your news. Love and prayers for you all x

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  3. Awful. Perhaps all sit round and discuss do the kids really need to go here there and everywhere? etc. Who needs what. Nightmare. But an open discussion always helps.

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  4. I'm so sorry to read this and am thinking of you as you handle this and make decisions. Much love. xx

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  5. Oh dear, I'm so sorry to read this. It's a difficult time for everyone, I'm sure you will work out a routine between you all but do take care of yourselves too. Best wishes.

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  6. A difficult time for sure. Our health is so very important. No doubt you will work out what needs to be done. Sending healing vibes and wishes for strength for all.

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  7. Such sad news. I wish him well in the coming months.
    So many people to consider here, including you and your hubby. Things are so much harder as we age. We plan for our own health issues never really expecting that our energy will perhaps be required for our grown children, even grandchildren. I hope there are others in your family who will also help out.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  8. Is there any chance they can find room to put you up in their house while you help out? That would also free up some of your money to help them financially.

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  9. I am so sorry to hear this horrible news. I would be right there with you deciding to rent a place and help out. It will make it easier on them and you won't feel as stressed being far away. Good luck with all your decisions.

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  10. Wow, so sorry to hear this. That's a tough situation. I agree with the poster who said perhaps the everyone needs to sit down and talk (the adults first). The kids perhaps do need to make a few adjustments about where they go or how often. Perhaps car pooling with friends who are going to the same activities would help out the family? Renting there for that period of time will completely alter your life, and could cause you two to have health issues with being overly tired etc. Maybe visiting (staying in a hotel) so you all still have your own space every other week or something would be beneficial? How much help do they have from her family? I don't envy you having to make the decision. Best of luck to you all.

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  11. Oh my goodness, such a difficult time for you all. Perhaps your son in law's work will help out if they know the situation of him being unable to drive, or is there any work he could do from home whilst he's convalescing? It will be stressful enough for you all with the operation without having to sort out all the practicalities for the six months afterwards. I do hope you manage to sort something out. Sending my very best wishes.

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  12. What a difficult situation. I do feel that it might not be the wisest move for you to change your lives.....speaking as another ,um, older person! Could the family access extra help from an agency or advice from a Charity such as Macmillan Cancer relief?
    Lots of discussion needed I guess.

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