Tuesday, 4 January 2011

January 4th-a sad day.

January the 4th is a sad day for me because it is the date when our first baby was born-stillborn.C should have gone walking today with his walking group but at the last minute decided not to go.He never remembers this day but I was glad he was around.It is many years ago and my big regret is that I never saw the baby ,you didn't in years gone by.You didn't even get a photo.He had multiple handicaps.It is a long and complicated story and I was treated very cruelly by medical staff.
So I decided we needed to get out of the house.Off to Parkgate on the Wirral for a brisk walk(one of my NY resolutions).It was really cold but blew the cobwebs away.Then I felt like an art gallery visit so we set off for the Lady Lever Art Gallery in Port Sunlight.Now C spent most of his working life on the Wirral as Science /General Inspector for the education authority and knows it "like the back of my hand".Not this morning.We did an incredibly tortuous route to get there but made it in the end and it was a bit of a nostalgia trip for him.We had lunch there and looked at the paintings.There was a special exhibition of Old Masters Drawings.My favourites are the Pre Raphaelites-Rossetti,Millais,Bourne Jones.
From there we popped into Chester to do a bit of a search for ideas for C to get me some books for my birthday next week.
Now we are back home and I am fine.Tomorrow is another day but I will never forget the little boy we never got to know.


  1. What a sad post ... I'm glad you weren't on your own today!
    Parkgate and the Lady Lever Gallery are two of my favourite local places.
    We went for a walk along the parade on Sunday and even bought ice cream from Nichols ... it was far too cold for icecream and it was painful to eat!!! Sending you a big hug!

  2. I wholly feel for you - I lost a baby in 2004 - I was six months pregnant and had to give birth to her. And she looked perfect although very tiny. But had she lived she would have been massively brain damaged as the placenta was too small and she wasn't getting enough oxygen. Even now it still brings tears to my eyes to think of her. I held her for ages, and we had her baptised by the hospital chaplin. The staff there were brilliant - such a reverse from what you suffered.

  3. Your sad memories can't be helped by the fact that you were treated so badly at the time. So glad you were able to get out and about and visit some of your favourite places and look at some lovely paintings and books:)xx

  4. How sad for you. We lost a baby at 12 weeks pregnant, and it was the sadest time of my life. xxx

  5. A very sad day for you, probably cemented in your brain by the treatment you received then. Do you find that smells trigger memories of that time. Just a whiff of a certain perfume takes me back to a hospital visit and I can no longer wear it. Pity it was my favourite then.
    Thankfully the way these sad occasions are handled these days helps to heal the wounds not widen them.
    I'm thinking of you.

  6. That's very sad, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. How different your life would have been if the baby had survived. I know as a mother how dates like this bring it all back as though it has only just happened again. It makes you question time, and the meaning of it all. I hope your walk helped a little. :)xx

  7. Hello I've just popped over because you've visited me! Thank you so much for the kind comments.
    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is so nice that you can share these days with Ladies in Blogland. We are all such a caring group and I'm sure we are all thinking of you. Nice to get outside in the fresh air too even though some days are so cold....
    Love suex